This months Tuber of the Month has many titles: Wood-gatherer, Firestarter and Air-compressor Man.
But the one he is most proud of is Webmaster! He was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma where he graduated
from Will Rogers H.S. in 1974 (the “Greaser” school in the book The Outsiders ). Growing up he wanted to be
a professional airplane pilot and, just like every boy born in 1956, an astronaut, but poor eyesight prevented
him from achieving his goal. While working at Molly Murphys House of Fine Repute (the restaurant that served
the “Baccus Feast”, what he feels is one of the best meals ever served at The Bear) he met Denise. Together
they moved to Northern California in 1986. In 1987 Kim (she of the, Calvin named, Contra Costa Irregulars)
suggested he go to Bear River. Once there he was hooked.
Technically a “van-er”, he has jumped off the rock and bared-the-bear. His tube size is the Tube Pro
with mesh bottom and the drink he rides with is Smirnoff Ice with a generous amount of extra vodka. The RV
with it’s generator, hot & cold running water and fridge is the coolest camp toy. Of the many great moments
at Bear, his favorite is when the first pile of firewood was delivered. Getting up the morning following the
late luau dinner and seeing the huge pile of empty vodka bottles that were consumed while drinking lemon drops,
is one of his funniest Bear moments.
Porn Star Name?........Cindy Kingston
Favorite Rock Band?......The Who, because of Quadraphenia
Beatles or Rolling Stones?........Beatles
Best James Bond?......Pierce Brosnan
If Hollywood made a movie
about you, who would play you?..........Michael J. Fox
Celebrity Crush?.........Patty Duke
TV show he can’t miss?......The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Super Power he wishes he had?......The power to fly
Money Or Glory?........Glory
Favorite Ice Cream?......off-the-shelf: Chocolate, homemade: Denise’s vanilla
Something in his fridge that would surprise people?.....Orange Flower Water
Spiritually, the woods and mountains turn him on and his favorite word is the phrase
“I Love You“. Narrow minded people turn him off and the word “Choice” is his least favorite.
Along with the listening to the sound of the water in the middle of the night, Denise’s
spontaneous laughter is his favorite sound. Not a big fan of karaoke, you might find him doing
air guitar to “Ramblin” by the Marshall Tucker Band.
The best advice Calvin can give to new tubers is to stay away from John, learn to paddle
backwards, follow experienced tubers and stay close to Steve (he will rescue you). And sometimes,
if you’re up, you can find him enjoying one of his favorite moments…when everyone has gone to bed
and he is left to tend the fire with only the stars as company.
